i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
