I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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