I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I need water and some morals
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
