I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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