Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
