Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
