Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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