So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
