You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Randomize
