if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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