HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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