Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I need moral support for this bender
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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