How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
