batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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