If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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