Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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