DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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