So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
