he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
