If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize