I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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