Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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