so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
