But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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