lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He called his prostate his "boner button".
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
