i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
