If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
