R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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