Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
