So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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