All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just high enough for therapy.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
