singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
