They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
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We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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