VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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