There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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