Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
