This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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