R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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