i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
