I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
