I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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