soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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