I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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