hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
