Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
