I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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