You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
