I seem to have left my pride at pride
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize