North Korea, Best Korea!
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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