none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
thus making me awesome and them whores
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
