My brain says no but my pants say off.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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