but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She's the barista slut.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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