everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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