BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
