i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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