I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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