so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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