Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
